in my mind these days…

I know this is a silly thing to be asking…but at this point in time I would like a magic wand that would dress r. and make her nap without taking 3 hours to do so….

Next week she will be starting to go to her montessori ‘house’, and she has to be there by 8.45, and again I am faced with the question: how the hell do people get to drop their children in time, dressed and fed? It is a small mountain in the larger order of things, but one which I can’t help but fret about.

 Since we moved houses three weeks ago, r. has been quite challenging and our rhythm totally out the window: naps are until 4ish, bedtime again is 10ish, and it is driving me mad, so we have been working this week on being more organised ourselves and a little bit more structured, but even so… I am not sure how I am going to achieve getting her in time…. At the moment my average is getting out at 10.30/11 from an 7.45 wake up…so any tips welcome.

Other things on my mind: looking for work, painting samples, dreaming about a house that is not cluttered and full of boxes and things that don’t seem to belong anywhere, and a life in which everything flows, is more ordered, simple, lovely and cooperative….and on ways to make some of these things happen, but obviously, even if this was achievable, any progress here is SLOW, and my body does not seem to want to cooperate either: too tired, grumpy and impatient. So that is what is going on around here…

What are your current gripes? Come on, here is your place to rant!

Lucila

2 responses to “in my mind these days…

  1. I can tell you how our life goes if that helps. I have a 23m old. We don’t have a schedule in our house so we are flexible, but we manage to make appointments and such anyway. You have to figure in commute time, age, and cooperation level. Keeping rushing to a minimum helps…ample time to allow them to help does make a difference and talking to them about going out. What decisions can the little ones make, and what things can the parent let go. Pick your battles?

    Is there a reason why 10pm is an unacceptable bedtime? See, in our house, I work evenings. So my girl goes to sleep with me around 10:30 – 11p. We do do co-sleep, but when tired it doesn’t take her more than 10 minutes to drift off. If it takes longer than that, we get up and try again later. In my opinion, it makes no sense to waste an hour forcing going to sleep when you can get up and do something productive or enjoyable in the same amount of time and go to sleep at the same time you would have fighting…kwim? If she doesn’t want to nap I don’t make her nap unless I can see that she is exceedingly overtired and needs help to settle. Again, waste of time and energy, IMO. She is usually up at around 7-7:30, sometimes 6:30 bleh, and if I’m really lucky 8-8:30🙂 Most days her naps are very late in the day beginning at 3 or 4pm and she comes to me, I don’t…”put” her for a nap which is not what most people do. Sleep is just not something I want to fight about every day, so I don’t. I know that some people are big on routine and schedules, but I prefer to work with natural patterns.

    We do Babyled Solids (Babyled weaning) so if we have all the time in the world she gets to take all the time she wants to eat, if we have to be someplace she gets something low mess that she eats quickly or on the go like a banana, apple or blueberries. If she doesn’t want to eat, she doesn’t have to eat. I pack a snack and sometimes she doesn’t want that. I just don’t worry about it. If she’s hungry, she eats. We are well fed and nourished, and I’m not always hungry in the morning either!

    As for clothes, I am a minimalist. Shirt and pants, or dress and trainers. I let her help as much as possible. I let her pick her footwear if she is in the picking mood. If she doesn’t want to put on shoes/jacket/hat, it isn’t worth the fight for a few feet. I just bring them and more often than not she either decides she wants them once she’s in the car seat or at destination. If she is insisting on wearing the shirt she wore yesterday even though it might have a stain and we need to go, I let it go. Once I even let her get in the carseat buck naked, and she didn’t find that very comfortable, LOL! Of course, some days there is just no appeasement even with car-only toys and, well, we do have fights about the car seat if she is not in the mood to go, but I’ve learned that if I wait her ab muscles get tired quickly and I’ve learned to take advantage of the in between breaths🙂 These days, she’s more interested in putting the key in the door, clipping her chest clip and climbing in the seat herself so for the time being protests are few.

    There have been days when I’ve had to wake her up early in the morning or from a nap and all I can say is that I just deal with the crab. Not easy. I’m not generally in a good mood if I’m woken up before I’m ready, haha. I adapt and go with it as that is just the hand we were dealt.

    Just call me laissez fair🙂

    • Sorry for the late reply!! I have read your comment and it gave me comfort. I think it is great that you have found what works for you, but I think that would not work for me at the moment. I did not mean to say that her going to bed around 10 is unnaceptable, it is common practice in Argentina, but that at the moment, I cannot handle it. Bering pregnant has made me want to go to sleep at 8! I just don’t have the energy I used to have. And since she started her montessori school, she needs to be there at 8.45, so no more lazy mornings for us, and thus, it means she needs to get her quota of sleep…and I need my quote of being on my own for a while, since I mostly spend the whole day with her. And naps…I usually don’t struggle but she is is at the moment where she could go without naps, but life is impossible after 5, or she crushes out too late, for us, and then can be awake past 11…so yes, a tricky moment. I am not a fan of waking her up, or fight to put her to sleep, since I hate myself being woken, and don’t respond either to ‘go to sleep’! but I feel that something needs to be done for our sanity…
      but to be honest, I fret more than was needed, as usual!! She gets up, she has breakfast and puts her clothes on with hardly any struggle, and we manage to walk to ‘school’ and arrive on time every day! and she is still doing late nights, but not so late ones…we are still looking for a good rhythm, adapting and changing as things change…
      For me the issue here is to reconcile different needs and, now, external pressures (times to arrive, etc)…in a way that is as less conflicting as possible! And I think that is what you managed, but with all the changes here, we are still working it!

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