Category Archives: toddlers

Naming things: Keep It Simple when it comes to toddlers

E. was hungry. He had a whole plate of broccoli and still wanted to eat more, so I asked him kindly -What do you want: yogurt or fruit?. I suppose to do this because emotional responsible parents that care about their toddlers’ needs ALWAYS  allow them to choose ( if it’s  possible)

And my emotional responsible son says: I want fruit. Here we go! I’m allowing him to choose, how smart and loving parent I am!

Me: Ok maitia (basque word for dear) do you want banana or apple?

E.: No, I want fruit.

Me: Maitia, banana and apple are fruits. Which one do you want?

E.:I want fruit- now he sounds angry and puzzled.

Me:  But banana and apple are fruits, like strawberries or oranges.

E.: Nooooooo, I want fruit!!!! fruit!!!!!FRUIT!!! -screaming the house down in a tantrum 9 on Richter scale.

Me: Sh*t !

Natalia

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in my mind these days…

I know this is a silly thing to be asking…but at this point in time I would like a magic wand that would dress r. and make her nap without taking 3 hours to do so….

Next week she will be starting to go to her montessori ‘house’, and she has to be there by 8.45, and again I am faced with the question: how the hell do people get to drop their children in time, dressed and fed? It is a small mountain in the larger order of things, but one which I can’t help but fret about.

 Since we moved houses three weeks ago, r. has been quite challenging and our rhythm totally out the window: naps are until 4ish, bedtime again is 10ish, and it is driving me mad, so we have been working this week on being more organised ourselves and a little bit more structured, but even so… I am not sure how I am going to achieve getting her in time…. At the moment my average is getting out at 10.30/11 from an 7.45 wake up…so any tips welcome.

Other things on my mind: looking for work, painting samples, dreaming about a house that is not cluttered and full of boxes and things that don’t seem to belong anywhere, and a life in which everything flows, is more ordered, simple, lovely and cooperative….and on ways to make some of these things happen, but obviously, even if this was achievable, any progress here is SLOW, and my body does not seem to want to cooperate either: too tired, grumpy and impatient. So that is what is going on around here…

What are your current gripes? Come on, here is your place to rant!

Lucila

struggling here…

I have always been one for children’s empowerment…I have made my best attempt at making the house feel as much r’s as it is ours, inspired mostly by Montessori principles, and many many ideas from bloggers out there. R. has all her stuff at her reach in her room, pictures at her level, has a kitchen cupboard so that she can get her stuff, her little spaces in almost every room of the house, and ways of adapting the big rooms and heights for her. I also respect as much as I can her timings, her need to do things alone and her way – mainly because chaos ensues as soon as you unthinkingly try to help her. In any case, you get the picture…

One thing, however, that has always been an issue for me was the bed. I could not bring myself to make r. sleep on a floor bed from the start, mainly for my/our benefit. First she slept with us, although she officially had a moses basket, and then, slowly, she started using her cot, a decision we made for different reasons that I won’t go into now. I know it was for my peace of mind mainly – the thought of her falling off the mattress, of her crawling at night and putting her fingers somewhere dangerous, or something falling on her…that kind of thing would keep me awake, at a point where more sleep is all I could think of.

Now she is two and a half, however, that is no longer a choice, since she started using her ‘big girl’s bed’, as she could get out of her cot. And you know, at the moment, I find it is an utter nightmare. Her bedtime, usually around 8, is now around 10.30, with all her coming and goings, because she clocked very early on how lovely it is to get out. …and its driving me nuts.

I hate how this little thing conflicts with the way I try to do all other things, but I also have learnt that coherence is not always possible…but I struggle. So I try to be gentle, and manage timings and routines a bit more tightly, to see if I can move this new development to a shape that does not make me want to scream every night. Unfortunately, this is how it seesm to end up every night. Me, álmost asleep while she keeps chatting and poking me to keep me awake, or me explaining that mummy needs to go now, and that she needs to stay in her bed, in her special room…which lasts about three minutes, at most. In the end, I bring her back all huffing and puffing, at the rhythm of ‘how many times have I told you to GO TO SLEEP’….which ends up making her cry, and me feeling shit, and crying, and her going to sleep two minutes later. So, as you can see I am not getting there. 

I am not sure how much this is about feminism and motherhood, but it explains partly why my level of productivity has gone way down – I just can’t face sitting at my desk at 11 at night, and in any case, I need to clean up, organise stuff for the next day, and even talk to my partner. So sorry, and if any of you please can tell me this is a phase, which of course, it has to be, I would be grateful!

Lucila

 

Pink and pretty – how ‘innocent’ can harm

Orenstein, Peggy, 2011, Cinderella ate my daughter. Dispatches from the front lines of the new girlie-girl culture, New York:  HarperCollins Publishers

I explained before what moved me to grab this book. As the title of the book suggests, it studies and analyses the new incarnation of the girlie-girl culture.

I liked this book for several reasons.

First, because I could identify with the authors concerns for her daughter and the reasons she set out to study more in detail this phenomenon. She describes how she wants to encourage her daughter to be a healthy, happy, strong girl. The girlie-girl culture freaks her out, but at the same time she does not want to give her daughter the impression that feminine, or girly stuff is not good, that ‘boys’ things are better. She wants her daughter to find a way of exploring her sexuality in her own terms, and being able to understand her body, her desire, her needs. And thus, objects strongly to the early sexualisation of children, and to the models of coming of age that seem to follow the princes stage – that of modern human ‘princesses’ such as Hannah Montana or Britney, which ends up being about objectifying.  She wants her daughter to be strong and independent, to have a healthy body image and at the same time to fit in. She is worried about media, but also about social media. And more. 

And she is brave to tackle head on these difficult issues. To do so, she immerses in the girlie-girl culture, by talking and interviewing different people, such as the mind behind the Disney Princess phenomenon, by analysing different products and toys – from Barbie, American Girl to Bratz, and all the z phenomenon-, by talking to mothers and children –including toddler pageants’ mothers- , by reviewing studies, and also weaving in personal stories. This book is mainly targeted at the general public, more than an academic audience. It is journalistic. And it is well-done in this sense as I found it not only informative, but also funny, and very engaging. I read it very quickly.

A thing I really appreciated about this book is that it is not written from a smug ‘know-it-all’ perspective. She questions herself, backtracks, starts again, moves in different directions around the issues and shows her personal struggles. It is like reading a funny, honest, on-going conversation of the author with herself, and with others, around the tricky issues parents and children face in contemporary girlhood. It is the type of conversation I would have myself. So in a way, I am glad she has done so much work that I can use, and also work with. Beware, if you are looking for a more ‘parental advice’ book, this book shows her journey, not a clear cut ‘solution’.

For me, this made the book meaty and engaging, but also particularly difficult to review properly, to summarise. And for this reason, I have decided that it would be more interesting to describe here briefly the issues the book touches on, and to, in the following weeks follow up with the different themes this book raises.

So here it goes:

Orenstein starts this book by arguing the importance of thinking about the girlie-girl culture, even though we might be tempted – with so many other issues to worry about- to give it a pass. She states that the emphasis on beauty and play-sexiness can increase a girl’s vulnerability to the issues that most worry parents: depression, eating disorders, disordered body image, risky sexual behaviour, to name a few.

She argues that these issues don’t just magically appear during teenage years, but are slowly built throughout the years. And that these little decisions parents make all along, such as which toys, movies, clothes, children wear/use matter. Her aim is to understand ways in which we can help our daughters navigate the contradictions they will face as girls, and to show us how and what this culture has become and what has changed in the last years.

She deals with the question of why princesses appeal, not only to children and businesses, but to parents. And shows how these are appealing to parents many times for their ‘safety’, but that this is done through a consumer culture that encourages the opposite. In addition, she scrutinises the boom of ‘pink and pretty’ for girls, and for this explores the business sense in this strategy, and how limiting this turns out to be for creating a female identity. This leads her to tackle the issue of nature vs. nurture, and to show how even though there is phase where gender for children needs to be validated through exterior signs, which makes them more prone to seek reassurance from toys, clothes, colours, this is also a stage in which they are more malleable to long-term influences on abilities and roles that go with sex. Next, she looks at how exploration of femininity can lead to exploitation and how difficult to manoeuvre the land of sexually charged toys, dolls, clothes.

Furthermore, she discusses the need for violent play, and critiques how this has been thwarted by TV. She shows how, even if children use the same toys –such as guns – as older generations used, the marketing culture in which they are immersed means that the relationship that girls (and boys) have with this toys and the impact they have, is different. The author also explains how tame Disney fairytales can be detrimental to a child’s emotional development, and describes her successful experiments with more gory versions, which at least, she argues, give better models for coming on age than the real life princesses she goes on to examine.

Orenstein described how the passage, the coming of age, of real-life princesses, such as the Hannah Montana actress or Britney Spears, for instance, seems to invariably involve the shedding of clothes. Her struggle here is that these modern day princesses seem to express the struggle of girls more widely, but encourage girls to view self-objectification as a female rite of passage.

Next comes a related, and major, issue in all this girlie-girl culture:  the importance of body image. She describes here the history of fat, and how it became not only a health issue, but the moral issue it is today. Her advice, before having a daughter, to avoid eating disroders and a disordered body image was the usual: praise the actions not the body, involve her in group sports, in volunteerism, and make her media literate. But she shows how hard it is to counteract a message that is given by everything and everyone, and also one that you find hard modelling yourself. And how hard she finds it to give her daughter a sense of self-worth that was not contingent on her looks and clothes, but at the same time make her also stay allies with other girls.

Finally, she studies how the internet and social media is experienced and used by older children. She shows how social media has changed the ways children conceptualise their selves and their relationships, and that these are build in a similar way as ‘branding’. In addition, she shows how bad judgement was much less memorable before, and how forms of harassment and bullying have found new and wider forms of expression. The author points out how different ages bring different challenges, different abilities and development, and thus, different parental strategies need to follow. The author, however, reminds us that our role is that of preparing them, more than shielding them, from the world.  

As you can see, even with this brief summary of issues, there is plenty of stuff to dissect. I do recommend this book, and would love if you want to join me in reading and discussing it together…like a geeky book club, you know you want to 🙂

And if you don’t keep up, I will send you some pink toys and a princess DVD your way…

Lucila

Note: I have not been sent or asked to review this book.

The princess phase

I just finished reading Cinderella ate my daughter, by Peggy Orenstein, as I am already thinking about how to handle the looming challenge: the princess stage, which I can already see brewing. R. is only 2 and a half, but she received her first pink glittery fairy outfit for Easter, and she put it on and her face lit up and she said ‘princess’. And she puts towels and any fabric really, around herself and says ‘princess’. She wants to wear dresses, and wants me to wear dresses too, especially flowery ones. She grabs them from the wardrobe, and tells me to put them on.

It is weird, because I never talked about princesses, we did not care about the royal wedding, and she does not have books about them, or anything. Her first encounters with the notion of princesses were with her cousins here in Argentina, where things are much more divided in terms of gender in things such as clothing, colours, activities.  But that wasn’t very intense either. Maybe the nanny too, or other children she plays with. In any case, it is happening.

But, as a mother of a girl, I really want to think ahead, rather than let the steam roller of the marketing machines at work and the flow of mainstream culture pass smoothly (though if I had a boy, I would do the same, but probably my concerns would be different). As Natalia commented before, I get fed up of the limited range of things that boys and girls are meant to do, be, use, or wear. It is limiting, in a bad way, and it does not nurture the amazing range of qualities that these little individuals might have. For instance, I find the importance that body image has in this culture, especially for women, is oppressive. And that is why I am thinking about this, because play is crucial way in which children understand things.

Furthermore, these first years are very important in terms of how nurture then becomes nature. As books such as Lise Eliot’s Pink Brain and Blue Brain shows (or what Cordelia Fine seems to be saying though I haven’t read it yet), babies and children’s’ brain are still in formation, and even though there are no significant differences, these are turned into big gaps, and also into ‘nature’, into adult brain differences.  So what we do now, matters in more than one way.

So when I read in Blue Milk about this book, I ordered it and these last few days had a bit of time to read it. And this book kind of reassured me, but also scared me too. The scale and diversity of shit is much worse than what I imagined….

So I want to arm myself with a way to handle this many faceted issue. Because, as other mothers, I want her to grow up to be a happy, confident, strong woman that does mainly get not her self-worth, as Orenstein says, from the outside in, but from the inside out. And what I don’t like about the whole pinkness and princessy thing – as reinterpreted by Disney for instance -is that it is mainly about looks, about being beautiful, about not doing much, and being rescued by a prince. I am already aware of how she mainly gets compliments a lot on her looks, while boys don’t as much.

However, I struggle with thinking in terms of big powerful machineries at work vs little us. Though I know it is true in a general sense, and it pushes my politics in many ways, I also know that the details, the how things work are also important, and that this is often more full of cracks than what grand narratives allow. So though I know Disney and Mattel are totally retrograde in terms of women, I also think there is a lot of leave in terms of how things are used. And in what you can do about it. However, and this is a big however, we don’t live in a vacuum. R. has already started venturing in the big wide world, and will continue to do so.  And in this, Disney, Mattel and others have quite a lot of money invested so that they presence seems almost unavoidable.

So how to deal with this? Here are my first thoughts…throwing the TV out of the window, keep them enclosed forever, moving to the middle of nowhere, talking about these things with them (or brainwashing – if Disney can, so can you!)… but really, as Orenstein says in her book, we are immersed in it in many ways, and there is a lot of money involved, much much more than even fifteen years ago. So an important question she asks is: how do we deal with this girly-girl culture? Where do we draw the line/s? How?

I will do a review tomorrow, but in the meantime, one thing that really matters and makes a difference is awareness. And as the author declares, to remember that our role is not to keep the world at bay, but to prepare them so that they can flourish in it.  

I will leave you with this nice thought, and scare you tomorrow ; )

Lucila

Rhythm

Why is it that on the days when I am with r. all day, everything seems to flow much more smoothly than on the days where I work, especially those days like today, when I work for longer?  It feels that on days when I work, I get into another mode, another flow, another rhythm. But I think my worst mistake is, guess what? trying to overcompensate.

Hear this and laugh. Today I worked longer hours because I have to do the corrections for my PhD, and as usual, until I don’t have the pressure of the deadline looming, I cannot seem to gain momentum. In this case, the fear and dread of going back to my thesis meant I avoided it like the plague. Well, I decided that when r. came back, we would cook dinner together, and not just any old bit of pasta, but something new, exciting and fun! Sushi!! Yeah! Did I say overcompensating?

But this is what happens. The days I work I seem to have much less patience, much less tolerance for interruptions, disorder and mess, so, well, it is not a day to make sushi for the first time. The inevitable happens – r. does not really want to cook, pulls me away from the kitchen, and wants me to go to the garden. I decided I would not be fazed, and take her little table and chairs outside, and as much of the ingredients I can remember and grab with one hand while being pulled with the other. I try to read the recipe but cannot concentrate with the tugging at my clothes, and well, r. enthusiasm, as usual, is for the ingredients, which she eats happily while I try to make sense of how to roll the sushi.

And then she does help me. She is overenthusiastic with the amount of rice that needs to be put in the nori thingy, and with patting it and spreading it everywhere, which in my impatient state means that after a while I cannot help but shout, ‘that’s enough now!’, as my exasperation grows. Finally, she, of course, is not keen to try the result, she already ate the ingredients in any case. And it is late, and she is tired, but I am hungry, so she sits on my lap, and delights in splashing the soy sauce with the sushi and wanting to put ALL the sushi bits in my mouth, one after the other, which means I get all the drips of the soy sauce and almost choke trying to tell her to stop. Exasperation and shouting ensues. R., who is now much more articulate, tells me she is upset, and how mummy got angry, and she cried, and then of course is the only thing that she wants to tell her dad when he calls from the airport.

Tomorrow, long working hours again, but my plan is simple: pasta with pesto – prepared in advance- and as soon as she arrives I will sit and read books forever and ever…

Lucila

Reflexiones sobre nutrir y comer, como madre feminista

Uno de los temas que me preocupan como madre, especialmente como madre de una nena, es el tema de la relacion entre la comida y la imagen corporal. Como feminista, me parece que ya hay bastante con la presión cultural y de los medios, con la obsesión por la imagen y un modelo de cuerpo de mujer, y por ende, con la relación con la comida que eso genera, para yo contribuir más a esto. Por eso, cuando tuve a mi hija me puse a pensar en como hacer esto, lo que me llevo a repensar mi relación con la comida y mi cuerpo, que no es poco, digo.  El camino que encontré, que va con mis valores, y con lo que quiero llegar a poder hacer, es el de comer intuitivamente (Perdón pero no encontré un buen link en español). Puesto de una manera simple se trata de dejar de lado la mentalidad de hacer dieta y comer lo que tengo ganas, cuando tengo hambre, y parar cuando estoy llena. Y de enteder, y buscar otros caminos para nutrirme emocionalmente, que no estén atados al comer.

Este fin de semana estuvimos con otra pareja que tiene chicos un poco más grandes, uno de casi cinco y uno de dos y medio. Aparte de pasarla muy bien, lo que note es la tensión que se generaba y que roles se asumían a la hora de comer. Por ejemplo, uno, el más chico, come de todo sin problemas y en cantidad. Y así era, todos los chistes eran acerca de  ‘ahh, el se come todo, no hay problema’, o risas cada vez que comía algo, o te pedía un poco de tu comida, y así. Pero era visto positivamente. Con el otro, todo era una continua negociación. Si decía que no tenía hambre o quería comer solo comer fruta, no primero la comida; si decía que no tenía hambre en el desayuno era come tres cucharadas y después te podes levantar, o come dos brócolis si no, no hay postre, y el negociaba – uno, no dos, y así constantemente.  Y todo el tiempo, puedo comer helado, puedo galletitas, o lo que haya visto. Y así se generaba una dinámica familiar particular. No es una escena nada fuera de lo común, ¿no? ¿Quién no vio o vivió estas escenas cotidianas? ¿Como el chico, o los padres? Sé que este es un modelo, casi diría el más común.

Pero la verdad es que no me gustaría que sea así con r. No quiero negociar constantemente, no quiero que coma para mí –porque cocine- o solo cuando esta lista la comida –si tiene hambre entre comidas-, o que se termine todo el plato, o lo que sea. No quiero que la comida sea un arma de negociación, ni una penitencia, ni una recompensa, ni valorar unas comidas sobre otras como cuando hacemos si les decimos que tiene que comer algo – en general verduras (menos valor) – para llegar a la recompensa – helados o chocolates (mayor valor). Y así las verduras o lo que sea –nunca escuche que fueran los helados o chocolates- van al segundo lugar.  Y se genera una dinámica de prohibición y deseo que ya conocemos.

Pero creo que es muy difícil de manejar, porque dar de comer y nutrir es gran parte de nuestro rol como padres. Y si te sale mal, sentís que le cagas un poco la vida al chico, y de alguna manera te sentis que fracasas como padre/madre. Pero bueno, la perfección no existe, y hay muchas cosas entre medio entre sano y totalmente insalubre. Pero siento que hay mucho en juego. Y esto tambien esta magnificado por los medios con el miedo a la obesidad, y por cierto, de quién parece que es la culpa? de las madres.

Sé que es muy difícil, porque lo vivo día a día. Me preocupo si no come mucho, lo que come, o si come mucho de algo, desde el día que nació. Sobre todo porque cuando nació era muy chiquita, tanto que en su primera semana en el mundo no tenía fuerza para tomar la teta  y le daba de tomar en una copita. Y siempre fue chiquita para su edad. Pero sigue su propia línea de crecimiento, así que me di cuenta que tengo que tratar de dejar de preocuparme por algo que obviamente ella maneja bien. Y aparte de esas primeras semanas en los que me decían que tenía que darle de comer al menos cada tres horas, el resto fue siempre darle la teta por demanda – cuando y cuanto quería.

Y cuando llego el momento de empezar a darle comida, decidimos hacer algo que acá se llama baby-led weaning. Básicamente, es darle la comida que vos comes, no molestarse con los purés, y dejarlos que experimenten y juegue con la comida porque de esa manera generan la habilidad que necesitan para aprender a comer solos. Una de las cosas más importantes es respetar su hambre y sus habilidades. Si quieren comer, comen, si no, no. No hay nada de eso de forzarlos  a comer una cucharada más, o distraerlos así comen más. Ellos se sientan con vos a comer, y se entretienen jugando con la comida. El punto es que hay para eliminar las peleas en las comidas hay que encontrar una forma de dejar de hacer de las comidas algo emocional, y de aprender a confiar en ellos. Tal como te decían cuando querían tomar la teta, y cuando no querían mas – porque lo dicen con o sin palabras pero es bien claro.

La cuestión es cómo llevar eso y los principios de comer intuitivamente cuando empiezan a comer comida. Tal como comer intuitivamente implica confiar en nuestro cuerpo, esto implica confiar en el cuerpo de ellos. Si  empezamos desde la premisa que nosotros y ellos, nuestros hijos, saben cuando tienen hambre, que tienen ganas de comer, y cuando están llenos, la cosa cambia. ¡Pero qué difícil que es! Sobre todo porque implica decir que nosotros no sabemos lo que es mejor que coman que ellos.

Lo que me daba miedo es que no coma suficiente, porque la verdad que r. no comía casi nada, prefería teta, hasta pasado el primer año. Y aunque al principio lo decía, después empecé a cuidarme de decir algo como ‘ella no come nada’ y mas bien ante la eterna pregunta de ¿cómo está comiendo? empecé a decir, ‘come lo que necesita’, o de cuidarme de no parecer preocupada o frustrada cuando por enésima vez cocinas y no come nada y lo tira todo al piso- y a veces me salía mejor que otras. Ahora ya come más, y a aunque es poco comparado con otros chicos, ya no me preocupa – tanto. Sé que tiene fases de tipos de comidas que tiene ganas o que a veces, sobre todo si esta con los dientes o resfriada no come nada. Pero obviamente come lo que necesita porque está bien.

Y ahora que se extendió su conciencia y repertorio, bah- se da cuenta si estas comiendo otra cosa y siempre quiere probar- empiezan otros temas. A mí me da miedo, supongo que por extensión de lo que tengo miedo de mi misma, es que si le dejo comer cualquier cosa ¡¡va a comer helado, galletitas y chocolate todo el día!! Pero habiendo empezado a comprar las cosas que me gustan y dándome permiso para comer cuando y cuanto quiera me está mostrando que no, que si sé que es ‘legal’, y que hay, y está disponible, no me como todo, como más cuando tengo ganas, y paro cuando ya estoy llena – o al menos estoy en camino a eso. Y tendré que encontrar maneras de hacer esto con r.

Nosotros por ejemplo, decidimos que –siguiendo las pautas locales- no íbamos a darle comida con sal o azúcar al menos hasta el primer año. Y hasta el momento en que se empezó a dar cuenta, tratar de evitar cosas procesadas o muy dulces. La idea, aparte de un tema de salud con la sal, era exponerla a muchas comidas antes de que se reduzcan – porque parece que es normal que en el segundo año empiecen a ser un poco más limitados en lo que quieren comer. También pensamos que tiene toda la vida para probar todo, que si nunca comió nada, no le iba a hacer mal no comer ciertas cosas por cierto tiempo, y que hacia demasiadas cosas ricas naturales antes de exponerla a cosas más procesadas y con químicos. Que por ahí es un poco controlador, pero pensamos que hay tiempo para cada cosa. De más está decir que ya descubrió cuanto le gustan los helados y las galletitas. Y que me da miedo que solo quiera eso. Y a la vez no quiero hacer un gran tema de estas comidas. Creo también que hay que poner algunos límites, dado que los adultos somos nosotros. Pero es difícil el balance, y el confiar.

Una cosa que encontré útil es un libro de Ellyn Satter, aunque también hay cosas con las que no estoy tan de acuerdo. Pero como siempre, hay que sacar lo útil para nosotros, y descartar lo que no nos sirve. Básicamente lo que propone es una división de responsabilidades, los adultos/padres están a cargo de decidir que se come y cuando, mientras que los chicos deciden si quieren comer, qué quieren comer dentro de esto, y cuánto. Y esto quiere decir, que por ejemplo intentar que coman más es cruzar esa división de responsabilidades. Dentro de esto, es también flexible en tanto que el qué se come esta también marcado por el gusto de los chicos, pero no necesariamente en su totalidad, por ejemplo. Y propone  cosas para lidiar con por ejemplo, esas cosas que me preocupan a mí como son los dulces, galletitas, chocolates, jugos, cosas procesadas, que llenan pero no son tan nutritivos si sólo comen eso, sobre todo cuando todavía no pueden entender la relación causa y efecto – por ejemplo si comes un montón de chocolate, después te duele la panza – pero que tampoco quiero prohibir y crear una dinámica de deseo. La idea es encontrar  la forma de darles lugar y tiempo para que coman todo lo que quieran. Por ejemplo – que la merienda un dia sea de galletitas de chocolate, y dejarlos que coman las que quieran. Que sepan que no están prohibidas, que pueden comer la cantidad que desean, pero que a la vez no interfiere con otras comidas, como puede ser la cena o almuerzo, en donde hay otras cosas para comer. Me parecen ideas útiles, y las adaptamos como nos parece, y las cambiamos también cuando vemos que no estamos cómodos, o no funcionan. Pero así es todo. En fin, quería acá poner el tema sobre la mesa, porque es uno de los temas, para mí al menos, importantes y difíciles, como madre, y como feminista.

Lucila